Monday, May 11, 2009

This wheelchair is going places!

So I should be writing a History essay about why the Civil War was a failed war for Southern Independence but I rather be writing a blog about me, so take that History, you suck!

It's been a little over two years since my accident... 2 YEARS! It's kind of hard to believe. And yet I'm kind of don't really care. Don't get me wrong I don't like the idea that I've been a wheelchair for 2 years, having to rely on my parents for almost everything, and missing New Orleans and my friends every day but it doesn’t really seem like a big deal to me.

But I guess the way I'm looking at it is is that I've made a huge amount of progress. I mean five months into 2009 and I've done things I didn't think I'd be able to do for a while. One of which is I flew to New Orleans for a friend's baby shower in March. I FLEW, took a plane to New Orleans, stayed in a hotel, rode shotgun in a Toyota Camry and went to the Howlin' Wolf to see most of my friends for one night and one day! That's a monster step in my recovery. I never thought I would be able to do it because I never thought I would be able to transfer into a car or transfer onto a hotel bed or be able transfer onto a aisle chair and into a plane seat (which isn't the most comfortable thing to do, only one ass cheek fits onto those aisle chairs). It was amazing! I cried when the plane took off from Love Field in Dallas because I was about to fly home for a weekend and because I was flying.

Going to New Orleans was the best therapy I could ever get, I was so happy words can’t even describe. When I got back to Dallas I felt like I had just spent a week at a spa/resort. I was rejuvenated and truly happy for the first time in 2 years. My dad said the next day after I got home that he hadn't seen me that animated and happy in a while. It's something about New Orleans, I guess, that makes everything seem like it’s possible. And I plan to go back sometime this summer. I have some unfinished business that I have to take care of that I didn't get to do when I was there, that is very near and dear to my heart.

My trip to New Orleans was the biggest achievement so far. But the other progress that I'm making is just as important. On May 27th I start Driver's Training! It's amazing because it is one step closer to independence. And not only that, I'm actually going to take responsibility and buy a truck (van if I absolutely have to) and take out a loan on it so that I have my own vehicle. I KNOW - it’s a huge freaking step! I know nothing about finance or loans or anything like that, but I know it's a huge responsibility and I'm going have to do it sooner or later. Which makes me think; I should take or audit a Finance class this summer, huh... Anyways, I'm really freaking excited about this!

But wait, there's more! I regained a muscle, my lat (lower back muscle) on the left side. That means two things. One, I have a little more stability and my posture is slightly better and I'll have a little easier time sitting myself back up if I fall over and two, I'm proving the doctors wrong AGAIN, what's better than that?

With all that I've accomplished and all the progress I've made in five months makes me hopeful and optimistic about my recovery. So much so that I'm actually applying to Roll2Walk (it's Project Walk ( check it out) but in Austin, TX) before I graduate. I'll have to go to the University of Texas (which isn't going to make my brother too happy because he goes to Texas A&M – they’re rivals) which isn't so bad because it's in Austin and I think I'll fit in a little more there than here in DFW. But I have this determination and drive in me now that can't be stopped and I think that if I get into this program I'll be able to put it to good use and get to where I want to be, back home with my friends.

Right now, in this point of my life I've found a few people to be the most inspirational to me and are contributing to my sudden burst of determination. First, my ex's little cousin (and my adopted sister) Liz Volpi, because she's been through hell the past couple months and is graduating soon knowing that her grandmother, who prayed to see the day when Liz would graduate, won't be there. It's obviously going to be difficult for her but she's toughing it through and to me it's inspiring to see that. I can't explain it, but I'm so proud of her for staying strong and her sister for making through this tough time. And I know Nonna will be there when Liz graduates from Heaven.
My second source of inspiration is Michael J. Fox. He has Parkinson's Disease yet stays so optimistic and grateful for what he has. In a sense we're alike, I may not have a disease but we both have a reason to be grateful and optimistic, because we’re alive and have supportive family and friends. I'd like to read his book. There's just something there about him and how he handles his disease that make me think that anything's possible and I can accomplish my goals.

The first half of 2009 has brought a lot of change, progress and accomplishment even when things look like it can't be possible. Anything is possible. That is what’s getting through my recovery. I believe I can walk again despite what the pessimistic doctors say. I think it's possible that I can be semi independent.

I think anything is possible. And I've proved it to myself that it is, I’ve surprised myself and it has changed my perspective on what my abilities are and what abilities I can achieve. I believe I can conquer my demons and then some. Even on my lowest days, I say to myself 'Fuck it I can do anything! Get yourself together and just do it!'

This year could turn out to be the most pivotal year of my life, and I'm determined to make it that way. Nothing is going to bring me down!

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